Sometimes the reality checks are too scary. Sunday night I received a call from my aunt saying she couldn't get through to my mother and when was the last time I'd talked to her. I hadn't talked to her since Tuesday. My cousin hadn't talked to her since Friday. That was the last anyone had heard of her. We decided we'd give it a little more time since my mother is known to not answer her phone sometimes,but Monday morning after still not being able to get through to her we contacted the police.

My mother isn't old but she isn't well and her mental health is more fragile than Michael Jackson's nose. So, when we she doesn't answer the phone for days we worry. I worry less about her having a schizophrenic breakdown, which is my aunt's big concern, and more about her attempting suicide. I was teetering on tears all morning wondering what was going on. The police where she lives required us to file a report with the police from our state before they would go knock on her door. When finally an officer from here called Florida they sent someone out to check on her.

How sad is it that my mother has no one? When she had an appendicitis attack two years ago she was in the hospital for two days before anyone knew where she was. And it was only because I started calling the hospitals that I found her!

After waiting impatiently for an hour I finally called the police station in Florida again to check the status of the situation. The officer I spoke to told me they went to the house and that my mother opened the door appeared to be okay. I started crying once I knew my mother was okay. I had been so worried. My mother told the officer she wasn't feeling good so she unplugged the phone and forgot to plug it back in. This is the second time she's done this.

When I talked to my mother she was making light of the situation until I started crying and telling her I though she was dead. Then she felt bad and was apologizing and promising never to do it again. Never, just like she promised last time she would never do it again.

I have to move her up here soon. I don't think it can wait until the spring. She doesn't want to move up here, and I'm not ready for her to move up here yet, but I don't think she is capable of living so far removed from the rest of the family. In the next few weeks we (my aunt and I) will be deciding what to do with my mother.

The weekend, for the most part, was pretty good. I got to see my friends and extended family. I danced, sang and then ate lots of delicious food. I had great martini's at the sky bar. Life was good!

I did get my period on Saturday which killed me because it made me crampy and snarky. I hate being snarky. Saturday my cousin brought her newborn twins to visit with everyone and it was really awesome to take the babies into the dance circle for the first time. I was psyched!! Actually, seeing all of her little ones (the twins, and her two other boys) and my other cousin's two girls in the circle was great. I wish they came around more often because I'm kind of sad that my son is the only one of his generation who is involved in our culture.

Saturday night my cousin started a big, loud, screaming, finger-in-the-face, profanity soaked argument with her brother's ex-girlfriend about some stupid situation that happened months ago. I was so disappointed with her. Everyone was having such a good time and my cousin had to go and ruin it with her drama. I am sick of it. And embarrassed. I wish she'd bring her kids around, but not if that is the way she is going to behave. She's 30 years old and I think it's time she grew up!

On Friday night Roberto and I talked on the phone and he was asking me to be positive about things, saying that if he didn't think anything of our friendship he wouldn't even bother coming to the show. I know he'd like me to believe I'm the main reason he was showing up, but I'm not that foolish.

We talked casually during the weekend but we didn't get to have our "big talk" because he showed up Saturday instead of Friday, then on Saturday night he didn't feel well so he didn't come to the casino where we had planned to sit and talk. On Sunday when he asked if I was "his bitch" (meaning his best buddy) I told him we still needed to talk. I want to be friends with him, I want to have the good times we used to have, but I cannot deal with his one-sided ways. He and I really need to have a long talk if there is any chance to salvage this friendship.

An old friend of mine that I always see at these events was there and he was quite enamored with me this weekend. He was introducing me to his friends and flirting with me. He even teased that he had a hotel room for this coming weekend incase I wanted to visit. He's a handsome guy, has a great personality and a nice body, but there are two main problems.

The first is that he is married and I am friends with his wife. She's a cool chick! I've known her since before they got married and I really like her. I couldn't betray her.

Second, he lives in North Carolina! I know I'm looking for a relationship with some distance... but 13 hours is a bit much.

At the end of the show he came over and was telling my family how he was going to take me away and there was more flirting and stuff. After he left, one of my more mature friends took me aside and told me he'd come around earlier looking for me and that maybe his flirtations are a little more than just that and that I should be careful. Then she said, you can do what you want... I'm just giving you a heads up. LOL! She shouldn't worry. I had my opportunity with him when I was 20 and declined, he's a friend and only that.

Yesterday morning, right after the crisis with my mother, my friend sends me a concerned email about some kind of identity theft situation and asking if I'm the "Poo Flinger" listed in the news. I click the link and watch a news clip where I see my name on a list of hacked identities and near the end of the clip I see this:

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