I'm seriously bummed this morning. A person I had been searching for over the past 15 years has finally been located. Unfortunately, I found him on the sex offender list for Florida and he is currently incarcerated. *big sigh* I always knew he would end up in a bad situation. He was such a good kid, so big hearted and kind, but so easily manipulated. I'm not defending his actions for whatever ended him in jail, but I believe if he'd found a better group of people to be friends with his life would be a complete 180 from where it is right now. Maybe no one else saw him as I did, maybe no one else knew him like me, but I know there was so much in him that was sincere and good. It is really sad. Seeing the photo of his hardened face and the 'fuck you' eyes it seems all the dreams and hopes I have for him may be lost. I will still keep hoping something will turn around in his life, but it appears he has chosen a lower road in life than the one that was meant for him.

Part of me thinks that if I went to visit him I could change him. Maybe not change him, but help him. I know it would make a great impact on him to see me, but to truly help him it would entail taking him under my wing and bringing him up north with me, but I cannot do that. I cannot bring that instability into my son's life.

Perhaps if I write him I can at least give him a shoulder to lean on without having to physically be there or add my son into the mix.

Damn. Why must people with so much to offer throw themselves to nothingness?

I still think of you when I'm in the area.

There were four of us, I know where 3 are now.
I fear the 4th may be dead.

I will write.

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