Sunday night, after posting in my journal here, I posted this blog on Myspace:

The opposite of Love is not hate. It's indifference. ~Elie Wiesel

You treat me with indifference.
And for that I hate you.

Just received a call from my Ex. He wanted to know if I was mad at him for something and was the blog meant for him. I told him no and that I was pissed at Roberto and he was like "Whew! Glad its not me!" I was never evil to my Ex, but he has seen me be evil to others and so he knows my destructive wrath.

I vented a little to my Ex about the situation and then we discussed other stuff, like, where is our son and why isn't his cell phone turned on? He gave me the phone number of the friend our son is staying with so I will give a call to check in. I'm not necessarily worried because the family he is with is very trustworthy, but I still like to be in contact.

Last night I got a my free Monday rental from Redbox, heated up some leftover seafood casserole that I had made the other night, and vegged on the futon. I have things to do, but my brain is just too dead to function. And to add to numbness I later made myself a nice Absolute Raspberry and Coke.

I'm strange in that I will watch any movie that has dancing in it, well, except for the old black and white movies. Last night I watched Step Up 2. Of course it had the cheesy plot of street meets arts academy, but hey... break dancing, freestyling, ballet... YUM!!

One of my most treasured memories is when I went to see Mikhail Baryshnikov. No one else was interested in the ballet so I went by myself and sat a few rows from the front watching the most magnificent dancer ever. Although the show was in the Twyla Tharp style, and not classical, he was still magical. After the show, they had a Q & A session with the dancers so I stayed late to see him again, and at one point during the talk he looked me right in the eyes. Oh. My. God. ~*SWOON!!!*~ I know it was nothing special for him, but there were a million butterflies that suddenly beat their wings in my chest. The entire experience is definitely in the top 10 of my lifetime.

We just had a big luncheon at the company. Whenever the Asians visit the we always have pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken because they love KFC and specifically request it. The regional director from China and the one from Malaysia are both very sweet. I like that they stop by to talk with me and don't just treat me like a peon. During the winter Kenneth even sent me special teas from China! Very cool guys!!

I'd love to go visit China someday. I'm told it is very interesting in that in some places there is a severe dichotomy between old values and new technology yet they exist side by side. Like the bullet train that passes next to the farms where men still work the ground with wooden tools.

I think the people who work in our offices over there are probably more modern and technology minded while I'd be more interested in seeing the traditional side of things. I like "old". I like customs and culture. Not to say these people don't mix both worlds, I just have a sneaking suspicion they don't.

One of the guys I work with has a relative who has been missing for four years now. A tip came in recently that there was some evidence in a town not too far from where the relative lived and now they are digging up some farm property. The poor guy is miserable today waiting for news. For me, I think I would rather know then always wonder what happened. Also, if they do happen to find remains they will hopefully be able to find out who murdered him and while it wouldn't bring him back maybe having the people who committed the crime serve justice would be a little bit of comfort. (I'm not sure 'comfort' is the right word. Maybe consolation? I don't know.)

I've heard things from people who knew the guy who went missing and they say he wasn't the nicest of people and they wouldn't be surprised if someone did something bad to him as revenge. Still, I think about the guy's mother and family and feel bad for them.

Hmmm... I tried calling my son's friend's cell phone but only got his voice mail too and it's been two hours now without a return call. Like I said, I'm not worried about him per se, I just want to know what's going on and yeah, I miss him! Sadly, I may have to resort to Myspace to send my kid a message. Sometimes I hate technology!!

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