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| Raspberry Vodka, I'm sorry | 2009-02-09 |
| 8:55 p.m. |
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| Thirty-something. Mother. Single by choice. Native American/white. Short. Slender-to-average build. Very long, reddish-brown hair. Green eyes. Responsible. Comical. Sympathetic. Honest. Singer. Two cats. One tattoo, more needed. Employed full time, but also cheating with a second job. Prone to moments of extreme stupidity. Scared of spiders, heights and commitment. Addicted to foreign films, thai food, teas and crunchy salty snacky things. |
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I
NEED FEATHERS!!
If you happen to come across some Bluejay, Cardinal or other colorful bird feathers please send me an email as I need them desperately! If you happen to be in South Americn I'd love to get some Condor feathers if possible (I don't know how hard they are to come by). You will have my undying gratitude and all feathers will be used in a respectful way. Hey.. I'ts an Indian thing! :-) |
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I just spoke with Raspberry Vodka. He is not taking things well about me no longer having sexual relations with him. We both knew there were no strings attached, and when I did start to have feelings for him last year I repressed them and stayed just friends. He did, once while drunk, tell me he loved me but later when he was sober I mentioned it to him and he blew it off as the alcohol. Now he's saying that I never said anything about my feelings for him, which is true, although I used to try to get him to come around more often and do more things with me. It wasn't possible because, well, he's not available for that type of relationship so I knew there was no future in something more. I guess I just thought that he was handling his emotions as well as I had learned to. I do love him and I care very much for him, but I can't be intimate with him anymore. He doesn't want things to end and this will make things difficult. If I didn't care for him (like Gary the stalker) it wouldn't be a problem, but I do have love for him. I never realized this would be difficult for him. After we talked a while and I told him that I wasn't on my meds for anti-depression he let up a little apologized for being a dick and said he had only been joking. But I don't think he was. I did tell him he was making me feel bad about ending things but he said not to worry about it. It was a strange conversation. When I hung up I felt mixed up and sad. But I still won't go back on my promise to Martin. Only Martin can cause that to fail and he did get the letter today telling him that very thing. He said he understood. Good!!
I did go to my doctor's today so I could get a refill on my anti-depressants. They had the results from the biopsy done while I was in the hospital. The results were negative! No cancer, no abnormal cells!! WOOT!! That was a relief! Any time a doctor throws the "C" word out there you can't help but be on edge. I still need to go for another endoscopy in a few weeks, but at least the heartburn feeling has gone and I'm not dizzy and nauseated. When I went to pick up my anti-depressants the bill was still $85! That was cheaper than the nearly $500 bill for the Prilosec two weeks ago, but I can't wait until I'm just paying a regular co-pay. I don't know how people without insurance ever get better because there is no way they can afford prescriptions!
For now.. I need to finish filing my taxes!
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